The decision to divorce comes with many unpleasant tasks: court dates.
Financial reviews. An assessment of your estate. However, for divorcing
parents, one task is usually dreaded above all others—telling their
children that their parents will no longer be married.
A divorce can loom large in the mind of a child and even have lasting effects
on a person into adulthood. With some consideration and care, however,
parents can mindfully approach this conversation and ensure that this
news is communicated with compassion and sensitivity. Let's take a
look at some tips that every divorcing parent should consider before sitting
down with their kids.
Jot It Down
You shouldn't prepare a speech for your children, but sitting down
before you speak to them and jotting down a few notes about what you will
say and how you will phrase it can be helpful. You will likely answer
a lot of questions for your child too, some of which you'll be able
to anticipate while preparing notes.
Pencil It In
Do your best (with your spouse, if possible) to schedule your talk with
your children. It's hard to anticipate how long the discussion will
take, but recognize that children will likely have questions and will
be shocked or upset. You want to avoid bumping into bedtime during this
process or other scheduled activities that will whisk your child away
from the house before they have time to process the discussion or ask
the questions they want to.
When talking to upset children, it can be tempting to sugarcoat certain
realities so that they, too, do not dread them. This is ill-advised. Confront
the hard truths with your child during this first talk so that you later
do not have to correct them and recalibrate your child's expectations.
Know It's More than One Conversation
No matter how thorough or careful your talk with your child is, remember
that this will be a process for everyone and there will likely be more
questions and concerns from your children as it proceeds. Patience is
key here, as is recognizing that your children will best adapt knowing
that they have their parents' attention, consideration, and love.
Divorce is always emotionally difficult, but it does not have to become
a legal quagmire. At
Audu Law Firm, Attorney Lilian Audu takes a compassionate and proactive approach to
divorce and has navigated countless clients and families through this
process with as little uncertainty and turbulence possible.
Call the firm today to speak with a Sugar Land divorce lawyer ready to make your and
children’s interests a priority.